Uma may not like this. But I am sure she won't blame me either. Anyway, why should she bother now? And why should I ??
No, I am not bothered about her now. But I do bear in heart the nice sweet thrilling moments she gave me (better to say, shared with me ! ). Gone are those days... Forget them... And live now.
That's why I started attempting for new meadows. And I think one is blooming now.
Remember Ionia ? She left me a few months ago. Infact she was in search of new pastures, money, position, and what not ? She and her mother are now at the 'Venice of the East'. She's well off there. That's what she says. But she is in constant touch with me.
After a long spell of dry and dark days, I am seeing some light at the end. Thanks to my new neighbor.
I have a new neighbor, just opposite to my place. A senior couple. Annan is employed, and wife Kalyani (let me call her so) is a housewife. Annan leaves for his work right early morning, and returns after sunset. The Nano family is quite happy with what they have, it seems.
My front balcony is a strategic location. I can see my neighbors. During the last two weeks, many many looks have flashed across. Starting with sharp ones, now its cool and long gazing. Yeah... that's cool for both of us.
Annan and Kalyani called on me last week. In the evening, and had a long chat. They were more curious in my singular style life. I gave them just sufficient tips and answers to satisfy them. Kalyani, it seems, felt sympathetic on me.
May be that's why she started talking to me , the next day on, coming to my courtyard. She infact started advising me on how to manage life better ! I certainly gave her all my ears. And would do so.
Yesterday was Makarasankrathi, and Kalyani came to me in the morning. She brought me a cup of Paayasam. I relished it right in front of her. More than my tongue licking the cup, my eyes were licking Kalyani. She realised it, and enjoyed it. That's what her smile, with a drooping look at me told me. When I returned the cup, empty, she asked me "mathiyaayo ?".
"Illa... " I told her in a low tone.
"Ini naale tharaam ..." and she returned.
Today Sunday, I got ready right in the morning before 7am. I went to the balacony and scanned the other side of the road. But I couldn't get my target.
Right now, I am waiting for Kalyani. Sure she would turnup any time now.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Friday, December 31, 2010
New Year Greetings
Uma, I hope, would like to share with me to wish you all a
VERY HAPPY, LOVING, WARM, and SEXY NEW YEAR
Innocent Revelator
VERY HAPPY, LOVING, WARM, and SEXY NEW YEAR
Innocent Revelator
Monday, November 22, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
Onam greetings
Uma ... She's keeping mum. I've nothing to say, but to wish her good luck.
But I am sure she must be chewing those Onam days she spent with me. How can she forget them ? She can't be that cruel.. I believe.
For me, those memories give me the feel of ONAM. And nothing else. Another unfavourable situation is that Pai is not with me this time for Onam. He, for the last two years, have been my driving force, in my personal life. But, he too is away now. He shifted back to his home town recently. Ionia too is not of any assistance to me these days. She has to take care of her mother (who is sick now, and needs full time assistance). But Ionia is kind enough to visit me occasionally. And she showers me a bit pleasureful moments at those occasions.
In the absence of any loved ones, I didn't make any ONAM purchase. And so... no Onakkody !
But for the couple of persons working for me in my office, I gave them cash presents. That's all I have in my mind.
I wish UMA a very happy ONAM.
And let me also wish YOU all a happy Onam. ഓണാശംസകള് എല്ലാവര്ക്കും
But I am sure she must be chewing those Onam days she spent with me. How can she forget them ? She can't be that cruel.. I believe.
For me, those memories give me the feel of ONAM. And nothing else. Another unfavourable situation is that Pai is not with me this time for Onam. He, for the last two years, have been my driving force, in my personal life. But, he too is away now. He shifted back to his home town recently. Ionia too is not of any assistance to me these days. She has to take care of her mother (who is sick now, and needs full time assistance). But Ionia is kind enough to visit me occasionally. And she showers me a bit pleasureful moments at those occasions.
In the absence of any loved ones, I didn't make any ONAM purchase. And so... no Onakkody !
But for the couple of persons working for me in my office, I gave them cash presents. That's all I have in my mind.
I wish UMA a very happy ONAM.
And let me also wish YOU all a happy Onam. ഓണാശംസകള് എല്ലാവര്ക്കും
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Igniting the desires
Uma ! Where is she ?
If any of you ask me that question, yes... I can answer that. But I wonder ... and realise that I failed to understand women. My motivator is away. Physically and mentally. Then, how can I write ?
I know I am sleeping. Uma is not here to wake me up. Ionia (you may remember) too could not keep the fire. The fire in me is buried in the ashes of my memories. I have to ignite that up ... again !
.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
The Male Brain - Men are obsessed with sex, hide their emotions, and cheat
Uma once asked me, "... when you meet a lady, where do you look first ?". The question was not any surprise to me. I had a clear and precise answer, as I have analysed this issue long ago. My answer to Uma on this question , however was complex. Instead of a straight answer, I replied :
'Ask me the second question ... where do you look at then ?'.
She fired me with "Mamma, you always are shrewd ... you never give me a straight answer. See, now to my question, you posed a second .. Now, tell me where do you look at her, when you meet a female ?"
She made the scope of the question a bit broader. I decided to me honest, and to the point. I said, "...face..".
"Then ? " Uma posed next.
"Breast ! " I said.
She was too happy in my honest answer. This made her start explaining her experiences ( and those knowledge from mother and other close friends).
On her pausing ( I didn't dare to stop her !) I said .."but there's always a filter... a psychological filter... to screen off some ... The filter works right at the beginning.... that's when you meet..".
Uma was curious .. she sharpened the ears to me.
"When I meet some female, young or old, my mental filter warns me how to and where to look. By default, the eyes go on to her face... But the problem is the next ... if not very closely related , the eyes jump to her breast.... I can't resist that .. it just happens.." I said.
Uma, with a moment's pause said "maammaa.. that's normal ... there's nothing unusual. All men are like that. They stare at the breasts ... right at the first moment someone sees me..".
"That's nature's rule .. " I became a philosopher.
"but... do you relish that look ? " I posed a further query to her.
"Yes... Yes.. certainly ... all women enjoy that ..." she was quick to respond.
"The why some ladies fire you with the fire in their eyes and face ? "... I asked.
"That's not honest ... it's a pretention..." Uma said in her soft tones.
"That's only a defensive action ... expression to stop at that limit.." . Uma went on to say.." it's feminine to be seen .. so females always show.. they like to be seen by men ... but they are scared of the society , to cross any limits.. "
That's a natures rule, I told myself.
YOU may wonder, why I started all this "lost" conversations ? The point is that I feel relaxed, when I read that a lady psychologist has proved that "men are obcessed with sex". Instead of writing any more blah..blah... let me show you what Yahoo reported today.
London
She says: "The best advice I have for women is make peace with the male brain. Let men be men."
Some of the other findings in the expert's new book Male Brain: A Breakthrough Understanding Of How Men And Boys Think are:
1 Men really are sex-crazed
The brain's part inked to sexual pursuit is two-and-a-half times larger in males than females.
2 They're programmed to perv
The testosterone drives what Louann calls the "man trance" - a glazed-eye stare at breasts. She says: "I wish I could say that men can stop themselves from entering this trance. But the truth is, they can't."
3 Men want more partners
According to the book, men want an average of 14 sexual partners in their lifetime. Women want one or two.
Louann says: "It's postcoital narcolepsy. During orgasm, males release a huge amount of oxytocin in their brains, and it is very sedating. It's not that he doesn't love you."
4 Men lie more about sex
Biologically speaking, men are more comfortable lying to the opposite sex.
5 Foreplay round the clock
In case of women, foreplay is everything that happens in the 24 hours before intercourse. For men it's what happens three minutes before entry
Louann says: "The male brain's initial emotional reaction can be stronger than the female. But within 2.5 seconds his face changes to hide the emotion, or even reverse it."
The expert doesn't reckon her book justifies bad behaviour. She says: "This is not giving men an excuse to rape and pillage. But men do have a right to give voice to their biological predisposition and have it come in to the dialogue." (ANI)
And here is what Wiki says about the author : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Louann_BrizendineLouann Brizendine M.D., is a neuropsychiatrist and the author of The Female Brain which was published by Morgan Road Books in 2006.
Dr. Brizendine is an expert in women's moods and hormones. Her academic credentials include completing her degree in Neurobiology at UC Berkeley, attending Yale School of Medicine and completing a residency in Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School in Psychiatry. She is board certified in Psychiatry and Neurology and is an endowed clinical professor. She joined the faculty ofUCSF Medical School
In 1994, she founded the UCSF Women's Mood and Hormone Clinic[1]and continues to serve as its director. The Women's Mood and Hormone Clinic is a psychiatric clinic designed to assess and treat women of all ages experiencing disruption of mood, energy, anxiety, sexual function and well-being due to hormonal influences on the brain. Dr. Brizendine also treats couples in the clinic.
Additionally, Brizendine teaches courses to medical students, residents and other physicians throughout the country addressing the topics of the brain effects of hormones, mood disorders, anxiety problems and sexual interest changes due to hormones.
'Ask me the second question ... where do you look at then ?'.
She fired me with "Mamma, you always are shrewd ... you never give me a straight answer. See, now to my question, you posed a second .. Now, tell me where do you look at her, when you meet a female ?"
She made the scope of the question a bit broader. I decided to me honest, and to the point. I said, "...face..".
"Then ? " Uma posed next.
"Breast ! " I said.
She was too happy in my honest answer. This made her start explaining her experiences ( and those knowledge from mother and other close friends).
On her pausing ( I didn't dare to stop her !) I said .."but there's always a filter... a psychological filter... to screen off some ... The filter works right at the beginning.... that's when you meet..".
Uma was curious .. she sharpened the ears to me.
"When I meet some female, young or old, my mental filter warns me how to and where to look. By default, the eyes go on to her face... But the problem is the next ... if not very closely related , the eyes jump to her breast.... I can't resist that .. it just happens.." I said.
Uma, with a moment's pause said "maammaa.. that's normal ... there's nothing unusual. All men are like that. They stare at the breasts ... right at the first moment someone sees me..".
"That's nature's rule .. " I became a philosopher.
"but... do you relish that look ? " I posed a further query to her.
"Yes... Yes.. certainly ... all women enjoy that ..." she was quick to respond.
"The why some ladies fire you with the fire in their eyes and face ? "... I asked.
"That's not honest ... it's a pretention..." Uma said in her soft tones.
"That's only a defensive action ... expression to stop at that limit.." . Uma went on to say.." it's feminine to be seen .. so females always show.. they like to be seen by men ... but they are scared of the society , to cross any limits.. "
That's a natures rule, I told myself.
YOU may wonder, why I started all this "lost" conversations ? The point is that I feel relaxed, when I read that a lady psychologist has proved that "men are obcessed with sex". Instead of writing any more blah..blah... let me show you what Yahoo reported today.
It's official: Men are obsessed with sex, hide their emotions, and cheat
Thu, Apr 1 12:25 PM
She says: "The best advice I have for women is make peace with the male brain. Let men be men."
Some of the other findings in the expert's new book Male Brain: A Breakthrough Understanding Of How Men And Boys Think are:
1 Men really are sex-crazed
The brain's part inked to sexual pursuit is two-and-a-half times larger in males than females.
2 They're programmed to perv
The testosterone drives what Louann calls the "man trance" - a glazed-eye stare at breasts. She says: "I wish I could say that men can stop themselves from entering this trance. But the truth is, they can't."
3 Men want more partners
According to the book, men want an average of 14 sexual partners in their lifetime. Women want one or two.
Louann says: "It's postcoital narcolepsy. During orgasm, males release a huge amount of oxytocin in their brains, and it is very sedating. It's not that he doesn't love you."
4 Men lie more about sex
Biologically speaking, men are more comfortable lying to the opposite sex.
5 Foreplay round the clock
In case of women, foreplay is everything that happens in the 24 hours before intercourse. For men it's what happens three minutes before entry
Louann says: "The male brain's initial emotional reaction can be stronger than the female. But within 2.5 seconds his face changes to hide the emotion, or even reverse it."
The expert doesn't reckon her book justifies bad behaviour. She says: "This is not giving men an excuse to rape and pillage. But men do have a right to give voice to their biological predisposition and have it come in to the dialogue." (ANI)
Here is the link to the author : http://www.louannbrizendine.com/
Dr. Brizendine is an expert in women's moods and hormones. Her academic credentials include completing her degree in Neurobiology at UC Berkeley, attending Yale School of Medicine and completing a residency in Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School in Psychiatry. She is board certified in Psychiatry and Neurology and is an endowed clinical professor. She joined the faculty of
In 1994, she founded the UCSF Women's Mood and Hormone Clinic[1]and continues to serve as its director. The Women's Mood and Hormone Clinic is a psychiatric clinic designed to assess and treat women of all ages experiencing disruption of mood, energy, anxiety, sexual function and well-being due to hormonal influences on the brain. Dr. Brizendine also treats couples in the clinic.
Additionally, Brizendine teaches courses to medical students, residents and other physicians throughout the country addressing the topics of the brain effects of hormones, mood disorders, anxiety problems and sexual interest changes due to hormones.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Gifting self
Uma's absence makes me dull. That's true . But as you could sense, that can't make me mad. I hope I told you a few weeks back that I am looking for new relationships to buildup (no... sustain) my life. And, success is not always in our stride. Failures do happen. But the right attitude is to take them all positively, as stepping stone to success. That's what I do now.
My recent attempts to build new relationships are not really fruitful. What I had in my arms length have proved to be not the right ones. May be they think different and their motives are different. 'Money only' for some of them. That.. anyway is not digestible to me. So I skip them off and look for neweravenues.
While i am driving my desires, kindly keep coming and look for my earlier experiences.
But one thing is sure. It's a closed chapter with Uma. So what I have been gifting her, and what she has been to me, now turns different. I am gifting myself. Let me see if someone comes down to receive my gifts !
My recent attempts to build new relationships are not really fruitful. What I had in my arms length have proved to be not the right ones. May be they think different and their motives are different. 'Money only' for some of them. That.. anyway is not digestible to me. So I skip them off and look for neweravenues.
While i am driving my desires, kindly keep coming and look for my earlier experiences.
But one thing is sure. It's a closed chapter with Uma. So what I have been gifting her, and what she has been to me, now turns different. I am gifting myself. Let me see if someone comes down to receive my gifts !
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